14 Jun 2016

Search, Question, Consider and then only Accept

While growing up, it seemed that everyone was more concerned with the business of everyday living and seeing to their chores than discussions about the meaning of life or philosophy. I was half hoping that the elders during my childhood could shed some light about it during conversations. I didn’t attend any formal classes for religious studies either. However I was exposed to some form of religious study through illustrated works. I wasn’t convinced by the ceremonies and rituals of religious practices either. Practices that appeared to me as discriminatory, overbearing and ridiculous. I say all this without being blasphemous. 

Yet somehow I felt empty. There was something missing. It was as if revelation hid behind an invisible curtain. I sought answers to my questions about existence and the meaning of life but I could not find those at home in my childhood years. Furthermore, I could not relate to religious dogma that if you do not subscribe to a particular line of uncompromising belief system, then you’re hell bound.

I can understand the need for mercy, repentance and purgatory if you need a transition place to set yourself right before venturing to a higher place. That makes sense. But I don’t believe in being compelled through the hardline posturing stance of “Swallow whole and believe all I say is true or else!” 

Freewill and intelligence made us all thinking beings. We have the right and ability to weigh things before committing. I’m glad though that I am at peace and have found a great deal of those answers. Admittedly, I didn’t believe them all outright. It took time, maturity and circumstances to converge. I thought things over first and then only did I accept them. I didn’t need faith to be force fed unto me and I didn’t need to attend group gatherings or group classes either to be motivated. It was a personal encounter and effort.

Also through the privileged demonstration of grace and mercy tempered with self-discipline, amid a backdrop of uncommon circumstances, you could say that I managed in my own way to draw back that invisible curtain and had glimpses of wisdom of a higher power.